In the hospital...still.
Last week after reading Steve Bowman blog and taking inventory where my drumming is at, where I want to go with itI started writing on how desiring to reach a new plateau of drumming peace was burning in me.
(Next week (hoping) on that gem.)
My momentum was lost. Why?
I noticed a few days before my scheduled big time chemotherapy my lungs filling with the wet stuff, and my body feeling like a Mac truck had hit every part of me. Even the hair have not had in years ached. These are symptoms have experienced enough to recognize amongcpossibilities of diagnosispneumonia.
My temperature was running over 104 by the time I put down my laptop. (Back to 104 now.)
That was about the last thing I remembered. Then out for days.
Slogging on without realizing solidly gratefull.
Over the years going through cancer...will say, I do not dream handicapped. (Wonder if my other handicappy brothers and sisters are like that? Handiddrumming.com...solid. Rob? is it.)
I still feel like I can field a ground ball. I dream that. It is surreal when I wake and reality sets.
I love sailing. Sailed and boated all my life. It blows my mind I cannot even crew a boat let alone sail it. I dont lament over it. It makes my thirst to want that again.unquenchable.
Amusing to me last week was writing on wanting to reach new drumming plateaus and this week well I do not feel like to much a drummer right now. It will pass.
Having had cancer in many joints past my respectably pathetic walking ability goes bye bye fast. I tried walking earlier and it is gonzo.
I know already will have to build up to walk for a month or so and hopefully overwhelm the adversarial elements within. The coming workouts, the pain, the pain, the pain, the nausea I try not think about but ultimately I do.
Replacements for the studio and live shows in place for the month.
Please do not think this is a sad Forrest. This was just my week.
Medicated with a drip beeping and irritating me right now...yes!!
The guy 2 rooms down is snoring....freakin unreal loud.
Side Note: Why is it the person who snores always the first one to fall asleep.
My head is dizzy about drums and Ill spell that out next week. This I know
Will leave with powerful words by Mark Craney in a moment. These words zapped me last year. I think about these words.
You all should because you all dont give yourself enough credit.
Solid people all of you who do more than think. Constantly impressed everyone.
Even you who I may never name but read posts here and elsewhere.
(Yamaha so powerful call Peggy. Billy, Aaron same. Amba soul solid etc. etc. etc.)
It also makes me think about my accountability. Here it is:
"Rhythm Magazine: Do you think that without your friends youd never have made it back?
Mark: "Well, here's the twist. As many fabulous people as there have been in this story, from every doctor I've been with, whether he's a homeopath or an orthopedic surgeon or a kinistheologist or any of these weirdos that I've worked with, to the nurses and their compassion, and the support from my friends, my mother, my family. You've got that, and then you've got me on New Year's Eve.
"The party was a bust, so I was home before midnight, and I was sitting there just trying to tune in and my inner voice said, 'Yeah, all these people are wonderful Mark, but you know you did it yourself' [fighting tears]. It was important for me to realize that, because I guess I practiced humility almost to the point of being egotistical about it. It was important, just to pat myself on the back for a few minutes, and then get back to business."
Slog On, Forrest
Note: Decided not edit once ink dries going forward. This week will be hard one for me...
May edit notes bottom...like last week is all.
Temporary change pace: Wish for Navin own NY tomorrow.
Last week after reading Steve Bowman blog and taking inventory where my drumming is at, where I want to go with itI started writing on how desiring to reach a new plateau of drumming peace was burning in me.
(Next week (hoping) on that gem.)
My momentum was lost. Why?
I noticed a few days before my scheduled big time chemotherapy my lungs filling with the wet stuff, and my body feeling like a Mac truck had hit every part of me. Even the hair have not had in years ached. These are symptoms have experienced enough to recognize amongcpossibilities of diagnosispneumonia.
My temperature was running over 104 by the time I put down my laptop. (Back to 104 now.)
That was about the last thing I remembered. Then out for days.
Slogging on without realizing solidly gratefull.
Over the years going through cancer...will say, I do not dream handicapped. (Wonder if my other handicappy brothers and sisters are like that? Handiddrumming.com...solid. Rob? is it.)
I still feel like I can field a ground ball. I dream that. It is surreal when I wake and reality sets.
I love sailing. Sailed and boated all my life. It blows my mind I cannot even crew a boat let alone sail it. I dont lament over it. It makes my thirst to want that again.unquenchable.
Amusing to me last week was writing on wanting to reach new drumming plateaus and this week well I do not feel like to much a drummer right now. It will pass.
Having had cancer in many joints past my respectably pathetic walking ability goes bye bye fast. I tried walking earlier and it is gonzo.
I know already will have to build up to walk for a month or so and hopefully overwhelm the adversarial elements within. The coming workouts, the pain, the pain, the pain, the nausea I try not think about but ultimately I do.
Replacements for the studio and live shows in place for the month.
Please do not think this is a sad Forrest. This was just my week.
Medicated with a drip beeping and irritating me right now...yes!!
The guy 2 rooms down is snoring....freakin unreal loud.
Side Note: Why is it the person who snores always the first one to fall asleep.
My head is dizzy about drums and Ill spell that out next week. This I know
Will leave with powerful words by Mark Craney in a moment. These words zapped me last year. I think about these words.
You all should because you all dont give yourself enough credit.
Solid people all of you who do more than think. Constantly impressed everyone.
Even you who I may never name but read posts here and elsewhere.
(Yamaha so powerful call Peggy. Billy, Aaron same. Amba soul solid etc. etc. etc.)
It also makes me think about my accountability. Here it is:
"Rhythm Magazine: Do you think that without your friends youd never have made it back?
Mark: "Well, here's the twist. As many fabulous people as there have been in this story, from every doctor I've been with, whether he's a homeopath or an orthopedic surgeon or a kinistheologist or any of these weirdos that I've worked with, to the nurses and their compassion, and the support from my friends, my mother, my family. You've got that, and then you've got me on New Year's Eve.
"The party was a bust, so I was home before midnight, and I was sitting there just trying to tune in and my inner voice said, 'Yeah, all these people are wonderful Mark, but you know you did it yourself' [fighting tears]. It was important for me to realize that, because I guess I practiced humility almost to the point of being egotistical about it. It was important, just to pat myself on the back for a few minutes, and then get back to business."
Slog On, Forrest
Note: Decided not edit once ink dries going forward. This week will be hard one for me...
May edit notes bottom...like last week is all.
Temporary change pace: Wish for Navin own NY tomorrow.
